Penelope Funk Dot Com Slash Surgery Time

Fucking cats, man. We have 5 of them now, 4 of which - Ginger, Cassie, Jemima, and Sonic - are perfectly healthy. But the fifth one, little Penelope, developed a giant freaky growth in her mouth. Of course it would happen to my favorite, the one that adores me, the world's most perfect, nicest, and thoroughly well behaved cat.

Penny is kinda dumb and has a tenancy to chill with her mouth gaping wide open, which is what she was doing one day when Autumn noticed this giant bubble looking growth under the left side of her tongue. It was really fucking disgusting so we took her to the Mt. Airy Animal Hospital. I will never go back there again. Upon doing some research online I discovered it's what's a ranula. I mention this to the Animal Hospital and they looked at me like I was a nut bag. They said they could fix it, did a $400 surgery to remove it, and a week later it came back. Bullshit. I got taken for a ride hard.

When I called them back they said it should just die down, which it never did. All the while, Penny kept getting worse and worse. She could barley eat and drink, couldn't swallow at all, and hardly moved. She lost 4 1/2 pounds! It was scary to see her that unhealthy..

We wound up having to take her to a specialist, about an hour away, who knew exactly what it was - a ranula. A cat's salivary gland is up in it's jaw, and there's a tube that runs the saliva to a fine little duct in the mouth. Something caused trauma to that duct, which resulted in the gigantic bubble. They had to go into her jaw and physically remove the salivary gland! After that, they cut a hole in the ranula and sewed it to make it permanent, so that it would drain and eventually disappear.

Penny is home and happier than she's been in a long time. She's running around and playing with everyone, and she won't leave me alone. I'm super relieved to have her back! But, in times of economic recession like these, one has to ask one's self, "Did I really just spend $1733 on a cat?" Yes, dumbass, you did.